To compensate for the use of German in the title, let me say from the start – this post is an integumentum, or cover-up. The word was widely used in the Middle Ages to denote a specific and very effective mode of teaching – tell your audience some engaging piece of fiction and let them discover the deeper truth behind it. I am not going to tell a story though, just tell you about malapropisms.
Malapropism is a word I just learned, along with charientism, asteism and mycterism. You malapropize when you say, as I have, that the matter is very obtuse, or that the dancer danced very graciously. Some people argue that deciphering other people’s malapropisms engages the mind far more effectively than normal speech, which is why I piled a list of various malapropisms for you to abuse:
“He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.”
“We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.”
“The police are not here to create disorder, they’re here to preserve disorder.”
“I resemble that remark!”
“We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.”
“This is unparalyzed in the state’s history.”
“He was a man of great statue.”
“Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”
“He’s going up and down like a metronome.”
“We seem to have unleased a hornet’s nest.”
“I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?”
“Marie Scott… has really plummeted to the top.”
“She’s as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile.”
“He is the very pineapple of politeness.”
“It’s not the heat, It’s the Humility.”
“It’s like the Rime of the Ancient Marinade …”
“I can’t even phantom how that must feel!”
“Isn’t there like a statue of limitations on that?”
“I can’t believe you don’t see the oblivious!”
“I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage.”
“I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I’m amphibious.”
“But beyond crude oil, natural gas and electricity, the Nymex is also a major platform for trading futures and options contracts in all sorts of precocious metals.”
FINESSE
Christotechne's Blog 
One of Freud’s definitions of a joke is the novel association of two concepts. I think there’s a lot of that here…I particularly like the Hannibal joke.
Mike Tyson is precious, isn’t he:)
These are inadvertent mismatches – the joke is in the eye of the beholder. Long live malapropisms as an educational tool!