Bear with me

Grizzly Horribilis is the meanest, fiercest bear you’ll ever meet.  Reports indicate it chases off even polar bears, which are the largest bears on earth.  Compared with grizzlies, Kodiaks are sweethearts, even though they are larger (5 feet on all four, over 10 when standing).  Not that Kodiaks are angels, but just look at this Kodiak and tell me if it’s not cuddly:

I am wondering though about my plans to defend myself against attacking grizzlies by means of Smith & Wesson’s monster weapon.  First, those guns kick hard, and if there is no one to support you from behind, you may end up falling back:

My point is, what if I shoot the grizzly but fall back in the process and the mortally wounded grizzly ends up on top of me?  In the absence of other humans, it will be very hard to push aside its corpus. 

So I am thinking it’s time for me to go back to martial arts, just in case.  Grizzlies appreciate martial arts.  Indeed, watch ’em grizzlies wrestle Greco-Roman style:

I don’t know what to do about the jaws competition, though.  I watched a lot of bear fights last night, and those bears always start by comparing their jaws against each other. 

Speaking of wrestling, the closest to a grizzly fight is sumo:

Maybe one of them yokozunas can beat a grizzly in a fight, huh.  But maybe not – these sumo wrestlers bulk up artificially, while the bears are at their natural weight…

So I am thinking Brazilian jujitsu may be the way to go.  Watch one of the Gracies defeat Akebono:

Eduardo Rocha has a Brazilian jujitsu school in Oakland, just five minute drive from here, so I am giving it some serious consideration.  One must be ready for the grizzlies.


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