When I was little, my father decided that I was a princess and should therefore be bred on a steady diet of Great Books, ballet and classical music. Nothing wrong with that, except that I had gypsy impulses in addition to the princessy ones. So I ended up rebelling bitterly against my father’s hegemony, and it took me decades to realize that instead of rebelling, I could have told him, ‘Dad, let me be.’ So, Noontide and WorstProfEver, your respective posts caused that Rant, for different reasons. Whoever has computer, let him/her read.
Noontide – parents can be very detrimental to their children, while meaning the best. I, for one, put mine on chocolate diet because I love chocolate, even though they hated it at first. My little one is still skinny as a result, because for years he was hooked on junk food (which, contrary to popular perception, causes extreme emaciation), and the older one developed health food obsession. I gave them chocolate out of love for them, mind you, just as my father gave me the lofty stuff out of love. Children hate it with passion when someone else decides for them how to be, and the rebellion erupts when you least expect it. Hey, I thought my parents were morons when it came to dealing with teenagers – you should have seen my own plight as a moron. Let children be, I say – let them decide for themselves who they are, and don’t meddle with your own principles!
WorstProfEver – I am so angry at those idiots who told you that you dressed inappropriately for the academia. I am angry at you too for being affected. Actually, that’s not exactly why I am angry – I am angry because I have been in the same situation, feeling inadequate because someone tells me I don’t behave and dress as an academic. I am angry at myself for feeling that way, and also angry for feeling angry at you. Damn those urges to parent anyone! We all have our own pace of growing up, and as a late bloomer I should know better!
It all comes down to this – if someone else did things in a certain way and became successful, the overt manifestations of his or her success tell you nothing. Nothing! Never emulate them blindly. Never let yourself be boxified in someone else’s box. Think deeper about who you are before embracing THEIR rules. If you do, be prepared to feel as if you are walking with your left shoulder tied tightly onto your left hip. Or with your head turned backwards. Uncomfortable, huh. That’s why I hate and resist every boxification, and that’s why I prefer to be inconsistent rather than be boxified. Too much pain.
I love my children dearly – that’s why I’ve left them be. Better late than never.