I just can’t resist after reading this. I am the world expert in shampoos and conditioners. Sorry, boys, unless you have a lot of hair, this one is not for you.
Face it: hair is dead cells. So we take care of our head corpses as diligently as the Egyptians. My dead corpses – nay, vampires – are thick, voluminous and wavy to boot, which means a lot of bad-hair days. Some days the vampires decide to line up beautifully, and some days they go into a depression. Smearing them with gunk makes it worse. The best is to fight them guerilla-wise, so I have about 12 bottles of shampoos and conditioners under my sink, not counting the other corpse-boosting stuff.
If you have thick hair like mine, don’t fight it with excessive pampering (it’s dead anyway), or if you do, concede defeat for the day and go on – there is always tomorrow, and you can’t predict the outcome of the battle. My best favorite shampoo and conditioner were the Daisy Fuentes’ ones for wavy/curly hair, but I can’t find them in the local stores anymore. Panthene’s are too heavy, and Herbal Essences work in fits. I don’t like any of the brands they sell at Beauty Store – they smell awful (fungus smell). I want Daisy Fuentes’ brainchildren!
OK, now that I am on subject on head vampires – one day, three years ago, I decided to bleach my exceedingly dark hair. I took 6 bleaches at 40%, but at last I had this fantastic platinum shade I desired. So I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up with half of my hair off, the roots orange. I grimly cut the other half and bleached again. My corpses were now less than an inch long. I bleached until I was blue in the face, for a year, keeping the pixie cut throughout. Until Jude run his fingers through my straw-like corpses and said, “I miss your soft black hair.” That did it – the next day, I bought the blackest black hair color and died my vampires.
But the vampires were vindictive, and my hair turned purple. And purpler, and purpler, with every next shampoo. “You know,” one of my students said, “this is because you bought the wrong shade of black” (up to this moment, I hadn’t realized that black can have different shades). “Buy the Natural Black,” she said, “and you’ll be fine.” I did, and since then I keep the vampires in the dark.
Again – read the linked article at the beginning of this post and make peace with your own vampires.